More Than a Grade: Introduction

"More Than a Grade" introduces me as a writer, providing my background ethnic background and how this affected my growth. It details the struggles I faced in the past regarding my understanding of—or lack, thereof—the education system and, consequentially, my confidence in my writing and communication ability. 

My first draft included many statements describing how others impacted me without providing details. I explain that “I realized that my writing was not garbage” in high school, but I do not elaborate on how. In my revised version, I recall my first essay experience in freshmen English in high school to explain how I became aware of the way my writing compares to others. I also recall other memories of my experiences leading up to that point, as well as some emotions I’ve battled with over the years and thoughts I found myself repeating.

I am also known by my friends and previous classmates for my somewhat lengthy introductions, which, while eloquent, wade into a topic. My original post about my writing experiences delved quickly into the topic of my English scores and how my test results affected my opinion of my writing. While I was able to jump into the subject more quickly, it simply was not my style. 

Upon re-reading, I cannot say I am fond of my original draft at all. It feels as though the piece does not belong to me. In my revision, I embrace my style and the strength in my introductions. The addition, however, is not frivolous: I use my introduction to paint a better image of my life and my relations with my parents so that my reader can better understand my parents’ views on my education and the views I, myself, adopted.

While the revised version is substantially longer, I do not believe it is verbose, but provides more substance than the original. It is a personal narrative rather than a summary and comparison of then and now. The original draft is included after my revision for comparisons sake.